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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28549077">You don't have to be perfect</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaoslaura/pseuds/chaoslaura'>chaoslaura</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Prompt list [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Julie and The Phantoms (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alex Mercer Has Anxiety (Julie and the Phantoms), Alex says fuck one time, Band life, M/M, Willie calms him down, no panic attack</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 23:48:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,004</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28549077</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaoslaura/pseuds/chaoslaura</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt General 23: “Hey, look at me. Focus on me alright?” </p>
<p>Alex is stressing over the most important gig the band got in their lifetime and afterlife, and Willie just wants his boyfriend to calm down, because Alex is a good drummer, he just can't see it sometimes.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alex Mercer/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Prompt list [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2082906</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>112</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You don't have to be perfect</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This prompt was requested on my tumblr by Anon, I hope they like it.<br/>As usual this fic got longer than I planned. I thought I would write maybe 1000 words about those prompts, but well I can't stop once I started. </p>
<p>You can write me here or on tumblr under <a href="https://chaoslaura.tumblr.com/">@chaoslaura</a> requests for a prompt from <a href="https://blisfvll.tumblr.com/post/627380949234155520/prompt-list-1">this</a> list and pairing and additional wishes, and I will gladly write it for you.<br/>Disclaimer: I don't have anxiety, so if I wrote something completely wrong, feel free to correct me.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Willie had been sitting in on more than one rehearsal after Alex asked him if he wanted to watch them practice. And how on earth could Willie say no to such a question? Watching his boyfriend wailing on the drums in his sweaty Shirt was more entertaining than leading on some policemen on the hunt for misfits. Skateboarding and mischief were Willie’s content of life but after he met Alex those fateful months ago his afterlife was turned upside down and a few more aspects of his ghost life changed.</p>
<p>And one was watching the band his boyfriend was in playing through their setlist for another gig that was coming up next week. Flynn had scored it for them after she announced herself as their social media manager with no complaint from the boys, because, bless their hearts, they had no idea what that entailed or even meant in the slightest. Flynn tried to explain to them what she was doing online to raise their notoriety but it got out of hand when after two hours she didn’t make much progress besides averting Reggie’s attention from the puppy pics he saw on her timeline, answering Luke’s endless question because he was the only one who was really interested in the whole process (we could’ve been so famous back then guys if that instadiagram already existed!), and snapping her fingers in Alex’s face because he wasn’t listening again in favour of skipping through a magazine. </p>
<p>Julie agreed on Flynn’s job from the beginning, happy she could include her best friend in her new found life, after their had a rocky start when Julie didn’t spill her ghostly band secret, but now the two of them were going stronger than ever and Willie found himself often sitting beside Flynn on the couch while listening to the band practice and helping Flynn making posts or record videos of them. </p>
<p>Honestly Willie still couldn’t grasp the fact that he scored a boyfriend that amazing. Not even when he was alive, but especially after he died, he lost hope of ever finding someone so special, but Alex filled that spot so effortlessly, he didn’t have to do anything or make any effort beside existing and Willie was content with the way his afterlife was coming along.</p>
<p>After months of spending little moments together, going on more than one date, to evade the chaos of the band that came on whenever the boys were unsupervised for too long, Willie was confident in himself to say he knew Alex pretty well. So, he was sure that Alex wasn’t giving his everything while drumming his beat to this particular song. It was prominent as soon as they started with the first song, the nervous energy still emanating from Alex, that normally disappeared after the first two songs when Alex let it all out.</p>
<p>But Willie still clapped proudly when they finished their setlist, only Luke didn’t look fully satisfied, reminding them again of their upcoming gig, but without looking directly in anyone’s faces and Willie knew he did it to not put Alex under more pressure than necessary. </p>
<p>They were all aware of the importance of the gig with music recs being present to examine and judge the playing bands, and that it was their chance to score a label, the moment they were all working for for more than 4 years. Well, that was the case for the boys anyhow, but even Julie had been working hard after she rediscovered the power of her voice. Her dad had been wary of it first, stating it was all going too fast, concerned if Julie could make it, but after reassuring her dad that it was really her dream (and that her last year of school wouldn’t be neglected) Ray had been fully supporting her. Recording more performance for YouTube and that was what helped them along with Flynn to be able to perform next week. </p>
<p>It seemed as if that was the only topic the guys and girls could talk about in the studio, at school, in Julie’s room, or in the kitchen when Reggie talked to Ray. Alex seemed elevated at first too, not as much as Luke maybe was, but he too understood the importance and that was maybe where the problem was coming from.</p>
<p>At first Willie thought Alex was just nervous as he was before any of their gigs, afraid to lose the rhythm or not getting the beat right, even though that happened so rarely it shouldn’t be a concern at all. But as the gig came nearer and nearer and his sticks had to hold more pressure from Alex’s hands that he wrung around them in a tight grip till his knuckles were white, Willie realized it wasn’t just normal nervousness or stage fright. </p>
<p>Alex was tapping a beat on his leg where he was sitting on the sofa in the green room, nose scrunched up the way he did when he was thinking about something unpleasant, and Willie was carefully taking a seat next to him to not startle him. The last thing Willie wanted was for Alex to have a panic attack and it seemed he was already on his way there from what he was seeing. Slowly Willie laid a hand on Alex leg but not giving in to his urge to hug his boyfriend. Alex could feel crowded when having a person to be so close to him when he needed much more air to fill his lungs and that couldn’t work with arms around his ribs. </p>
<p>But when Alex didn’t acknowledge the hand on his thigh even Willie got restless. Normally Luke and Reggie were the best option to calm Alex down, having enough experience to know the right way to do it but Willie was so new to everything, he was afraid to do something wrong and only making the whole situation worse. Even though Alex reassured him several times that Willie was in no position to do that, contrary he helped him feeling grounded. But Willie was having trouble to believe that when he saw Alex in a state like this.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, the other guys and Julie were out. Reggie and Luke accompanying Julie while she was out getting food, hanging on her phone to not raise suspicion of her craziness at speaking with air. Flynn was out in the crowd, mingling with the people, so Willie found himself alone and with no idea when the boys would be back. Could be the next minute or next thirty minutes and until then Willie should’ve helped his boyfriend or he would be a very bad exemplar of a friend, he thought.</p>
<p>“Alex, hey.” Willie tried to gain Alex’ attention and moved his face in front of him to snap Alex out of his stupor.</p>
<p>It seemed to work as Alex eyes focused on him now and a small smile formed on his lips. “Oh hey Willie. Since when are you here?”</p>
<p>“Just a few minutes. The others are out, but they could be back any minute.”</p>
<p>“Okay, good.”</p>
<p>“Are you good though?” Willie nodded to Alex bouncing leg to indicate what he meant. </p>
<p>Alex was following his gaze and was apparently only now realizing that his limbs had a life on their own and tried to stop the nervous movement, only to start kneading the material of his fanny pack. </p>
<p>Willie took Alex hand in his and squeezed it once to say he was here, they always did it to let Alex know Willie wasn’t going anywhere and Alex could talk to him. Willie hoped it was working because there was clearly something going on and he would rather Alex talked to him before letting his thoughts spiral too much. </p>
<p>“You seem more nervous than usual. I’m sure the gig will be great, you guys are always great, especially you hotdog.” He added with a wink. Sometimes him saying something ridiculous interrupted Alex train of thought just like Reggie saying something stupid and repeating facts wrong did.</p>
<p>“I’m good, don’t worry.” Alex pressed out and both knew it wasn’t the truth. </p>
<p>“Oh, I’m not worrying about you. I’m worrying about the rest of your band when you play so well that the big guys only want you and Luke will be crushed.” Observing Alex demeanour that must have hit it on the head.</p>
<p>“Doubt, that will happen.”</p>
<p>“What? You playing good or Luke being devasted over not getting a record deal?”</p>
<p>“The first.” Alex admitted while his gaze was locked on the floor, only Willie looking at his boyfriend and seeing how upset he was over it.</p>
<p>“But you’re always amazing, what makes you think today will be an exception?” Sometimes it was hard to get behind Alex thought process when the only things he could think about were worst case scenarios.</p>
<p>“Just- Okay, I know I’m good, otherwise Luke would’ve never let me play in in the band no matter how great of a friends we were. But I’m not as amazing as you always say, I’m not perfect, and today has to be perfect. Luke was saying that every day of the last week and we all now how important the evening is to the band and I know Ray has been planning a surprise party for Julie and she would be so happy. But what if I fuck something up and ruin the whole song or every song and we won’t get the deal, and Julie’s dad will be so disappointed in her, and Luke will hate me forever because that is his dream and I will be to blame for shattering it and then Reggie will take his side because Luke is his favourite friend, and fuck-“ Alex now had his hands in his hair and was pulling on some strands before Willie took one of them in his hand again to stop Alex and pull him back to reality, now after he was finished rambling.</p>
<p>With his other hand Willie carefully cupped Alex chin and turned his head in his direction so he could look him straight into his eyes. He needed to get this message across and into Alex thick scull. “Hey, look at me Alex. Focus on me alright? Try to fade out this evening for one second okay? It’s just the two of us on this couch. First of all, your friends love you. Luke could never hate you. Whatever happens tonight, Luke and the others have your back and they won’t ever throw you out of the band or will be disappointed in you, neither would be Ray if he could see or talk to you. And Reggie doesn’t have a favourite. You may not see it, but he latches on to you whenever you appear and knows how much you love him behind your sarcastic comments. The same applies for Julie. You’re right, this evening is important, but your wellbeing is even more important and neither of us want you to blame yourself for whatever may go wrong. No band is perfect even though you guys get pretty close to that. And if tonight is not working out the way you all wanted it to then there’s a next time. We have eternity and Julie is still young. Okay?”</p>
<p>Alex nodded slowly like he still needed to process the words.</p>
<p>“Can I give you a hug or do you want some space?” Willie asked, interlacing his fingers with Alex.</p>
<p>“No, it’s okay.” And that was all Willie needed to hear before he tugged Alex head underneath his chin as it was normally the other way around with Alex being taller than him. One hand was going under Alex hoodie to rub small circles onto his back and the other into his hair to get him as close as possible. </p>
<p>“Thanks Willie.” Alex mumbled from his spot into Willie’s shirt, but Willie could hear the words clearly and gave Alex a kiss on the crown of his hair. “No problem, hotdog.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Alex and Willie have my heart.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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